Step One

Step one is find a house. I like that this one sounds so simple even if we all know it is anything but. Just saying it out loud does not cause me to start rocking back and forth and groaning in that way that other steps do (ie cleaning and decluttering our current house - truth be told I've not said that one out loud yet, just typing it makes me want to curl up into the fetal position and stay there until it is all over).

Yesterday was day one of the on the ground search - as opposed to the obsessive stalking of Domain designed to make me feel productive and organised. We left home at the crack of dawn with The Wiggles providing backing vocals for our trip. I confess I was absolutely dreading the drive as Puddleduck had been nothing short of monstrous in the car the day before and that trip only lasted about twenty minutes. However, she was an absolute trooper and made the pair of us look like road trip amateurs in comparison. In my defence she wasn't trying to be navigator for Mr Puddleduck. Enough said.

We had four properties we were really keen to inspect and just to make it all the more challenging the inspection times clashed. The Glebe property was open at the same time as the Paddington one and the Darlinghurst one was open at the same time as the Balmain one. Showing one of his occasional flashes of brilliance Mr Puddleduck had suggested we arrive early and scope them all out before deciding what ones to inspect and what ones to ditch. As opposed to my far more fatalistic approach which was to immediately force ourselves to choose favourites.

We started in Paddington and approved wholeheartedly of the outside of the property - a lovely green end terrace with a big patio. Beautiful. Off we headed to Darlinghurst where we also throughly approved of the outside of the property and the street it was in. Glebe was next on the list - the house there appeared to be big and well-loved from the pictures on Domain. We'll never know, however, as Google Maps completely failed us and we still haven't a clue where Charles St Glebe might be.

Having run out of time to make it across to Balmain before the Paddington open house we decided to head back to Paddington in plenty of time for that inspection. Just quietly we were a little pleased with ourselves and this eminently sensible plan of attack - we could find a park, fill out the applications forms and Mr Puddleduck could find somewhere to go to the toilet while I changed Puddleduck all without any need for a mad rush (the usual way we operate).

Simply brilliant theory and definitely deserving of the figurative pats on the back we gave ourselves. Shame it didn't hold up quite so well in practice. Actually, it didn't hold up at all. We left Paddington knowing exactly why Paddington-dwellers are so fit and skinny looking - they walk everywhere for fear of losing their car space - and with Mr Puddleduck still needing to go to the toilet.

On the bright side, we were on track for making the Darlinghurst inspection in plenty of time. Except that for some reason we decided to try to find the illusive Glebe house again. I know. I know, I know, I know.

Anyway, we did make it back in time - just. AND we made it back without either of us calling a family lawyer to book an appointment although it was a close run thing. On reflection, probably not as close as it was when I was trying to direct Mr Puddleduck around Paddington without Google Maps and simply relying on my innate sense of direction.

Now I know that the Sydney rental market is the stuff of legend. I know that properties are hard fought for but I did not expect the street to be swarming with quite so many potential tenants as it was. Bizarrely, we had no trouble finding a spot to park. It was even a legal carpark!

Mr Puddleduck was quite open to the potential of the property despite the fact that every spare nook and cranny had been converted into bedroom space for what seemed like close to two hundred dreadlocked existing tenants. I don't mean to imply he usually has no eye for potential, rather that he is not as romantically inclined as I am when it comes to houses and is used to nipping my romantic tendencies in the bud for all our sakes.

Getting the thumbs up from him I accosted the agent and put in our application. Accompanied by a wad of documents thicker than War and Peace. You know, proving we were who we said we were and that despite no rental history we weren't remotely dodgy and definitely people you'd want to rent to - the paper equivalent of a trustworthy and convincing smile. I threw in one of those smiles for good measure. Mr Puddleduck probably would have too if he hadn't been hopping up and down in his desperate need to pee.