What's wrong with this picture? A lot apparently. You see, according to my mother-in-law it would be entirely wrong of our little Puddleduck family to stay at three. This isn't because she simply wants more grandchildren. No, it's because only children are socially unacceptable and, frankly, awful.I've spent all night trying to work out what offends people about only children? What about me offends my mother-in-law?
I know the stereotype - spoilt, lonely and unable to interact socially. So I wonder how she thinks I fit that?
My parents were careful not to spoil me with material things. I didn't ever want for anything - well, for a while I desperately wanted for a Sportsgirl t-shirt - but I certainly didn't get everything I ever asked for. Instead my parents showered me with love.
I was surrounded by friends and cousins and substitute siblings as I grew up. Our house was always full of fun and laughter - right up until I left home. I had friends and cousins who were like sisters - we played, we fought and we made up. I was never ever lonely. Even when I was alone, I had my imagination.
As for an inability to interact socially, well I guess I'll let friends and colleagues be the judge of that.
So why is it OK for people to judge only children? I've known quite a few and none of them fit the stereotype. So I simply don't see why it should be such an awful thing for Puddleduck to be an only child. Epsecially if Mr Puddleduck and I can do half as good a job raising her as my parents did with me.
I have plenty of well adjusted only children who are relatives and friends of mine, and I believe that whatever family situation you are in, though it influences you - you can be more than just an "only child" or and "eldest" or "youngest".
ReplyDeleteBut even so, I can't explain the feeling of sadness when I think that that some children don't have the fun of built in playmates and all the challenges and growing experiences that are part of a bigger family. Of course only children have different challenges and growing experiences.
Perhaps the negative association comes from the days when being an only meant there were fertility or relationship issues in the parents life.
Growing up now I find that my family of many is still a great joy, my parents and siblings all work hard to keep the relationships healthy.
I'm the eldest of 6 so of course everyone's experience clouds their judgement. :)
Hugs to you - enjoy your family of 3!
YOu are fine my dear - it is not her choice anyway and some people have to have there say. I must say though that you are the most grounded only child I know and I put it down to your wonderful parents and I am certain that you will bring up Miss J the same way.
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